Fashion Neurosis | a la Bella Freud

Can you describe what you’re wearing today and why you chose these clothes?

I am wearing a very colourful Gorman dress I bought on sale a few years ago. I am wearing it because it’s the lightest of cottons and it better wicks away the old lady flashes I now am subjected to.

Was fashion ever a thing in your household and did you ever have to fight for the things you wanted to wear?

Absolutely fashion was a thing in our household but of all my five siblings, I inherited the sartorial gene. My mother had her own seamstress in her youth and was a total clothes horse. On her first trip back to Europe after emigrating to Australia, she had her entire wardrobe made just for that trip. But then she had 5 children so fashion took a back seat. And yes, growing up there was always a fight for the things I wanted to wear. I lived in Hand-me-down-nation and it was Hunger Games when it came to certain items of clothing. We also had a great aunt in London that would send crate loads of clothes from Marks & Spencers for us to wear. We were never much interested in these care packages but if she was coming to Australia, Ma would spend frantic weeks attempting to find those clothes to dress us in them. It was a lot of woollen jumpers and kilts if I recall. Totally necessary for day-to-day life in Wollongong.

Do you have any hang-ups about your body?

Yes, yes, and YES!

Do you remember the first time you wore a piece of clothing that made you feel different?

Of course and this particular memory is not a happy one; it was in the first week of high school when I realised I was wearing brown socks while everyone else was wearing white. The humiliation was total because I was also being singled out for my bilateral upper lip and cleft palate. Two for the price of one.

Where do you start with an outfit?

The weather. Where I’m heading. Then my general mood. I’ve yet to master the art of ‘we only have today’ and wear some of my more spectacular outfits just because I can and I should.

Is there anyone who’s inspired you fashion wise?

A mash up of Tilda Swinton, Isabella Blow and a sartorial, fictional version of myself. Essentially if I was Tilda Swinton with Isabella’s hats and a congenital birth defect, what would that person wear?

Is there a random garment that a man wears that attracts you?

Hmm. Board shorts, a surfboard under an armpit, and salt encrusted blonde hair. An 80s Aussie dude at the beach. But ask me that question in an hour and I’ll give you a different answer. Oh, and any bloke that can pull off a great pair of corduroy pants. I’m a total puddle for a man in that material.

If you fancy someone and you don’t like what they’re wearing does it kill your attraction?

It shouldn’t but it kinda does. Sometimes one wants the partner to have equal sartorial billing. Otherwise it can kill one’s own outrageousness.

Are there certain clothes that make you feel better when you’re feeling low?

A cinched waist, bold colours with bang up jewellery, and shoes that make a statement. Plus my frizz giving my head a sculptural shape.

What’s the best present a lover has ever given you?

An Elsa Peretti silver bangle.

Do you have a fashion kink?

I have plenty but the one I’m thinking of was my habit during PE class at high school to wear multiple pairs of underpants. I think it had something to do with feeling comforted about my nether regions. Looking back on it, that was some weird shit. Sometimes I wonder if there was something else going on that I can’t quite put my finger on.