Boredom

Along with the fear is the boredom. How bored? This morning I was picking ear wax out of my headphones. That’s the kind of boredom I’m talking about. And I’m painstakingly picking the dead leaves out of my pony foot ground cover. I’m also taking too many selfies. Selfies on photo, square, portrait, slo-mo mode…the lot. The results has me descending into depression along with the boredom so it’s pretty terrible all round. My rosacea is just about eating the entire right cheek so I’ve even resorted to makeup. Unfortunately I don’t have the juicy skin of an adolescent, no matter what flattering light I seek out or the filters I apply to create the perfect shot.

I can homebody with the best of them so it’s not as if I don’t have the patience for this. But my love of puttering about at home has never factored in a pandemic and the necessity of sheltering in place. One upside is gardening. I have rose bushes out the front of the house that I trot out to say hello to and prune. They’ve also been the subject of very involved photo sessions. But eventually I get bored again. Bored is better than fear but it’s its close cousin.

I’m not scared of losing my job or not having health care. It would be a worry but that doesn’t make me scared. It’s the bigger stuff, it’s the political machinery that’s ramping into election mode alongside this pandemic. It’s the fear that maybe the person in the White House will win and it’ll cement an American nightmare that would be untenable. In the New York Times today is an article by Bernie Sanders. Everything he writes is obvious to right thinking people:

In the midst of the twin crises that we face — the coronavirus pandemic and the meltdown of our economy — it’s imperative that we re-examine some of the foundations of American society, understand why they are failing us, and fight for a fairer and more just nation.

Is this rhetoric going to help at the polls? Are Biden’s chances now that he is the presumptive nominee and has the support of his former rivals going to be enough for the big push to the White House? I dunno. This country’s voting system in ‘peace' time is wacky enough let alone in this climate. I try to limit my news intake because it rarely helps and because it’s always going to skew to the bad, to the idiots protesting the lockdown in Michigan, to Trump’s hours’ long press conferences that are a clear indication of his megalomania and psychopathy; his overriding desire to be Kim Jung-un of the western world.

He doesn’t want to wear a mask, he wants to continue glad handing his cronies down in Mar a Largo. So let him do that, let him lift his leg to his own dog whistling and piss on himself.